Careless in the Care of God

PL Week 5, & a Give-a-way Baby…

2012-02-06T21:35:00.001-05:00

DONE! this week was kind of boring and I had some trouble figuring out what to put in each pocket…

BUT…

I am still loving PL…

Left Side: pretty straight forward

(I got a little fancy with the right side)…

Let’s see…I had/have a tooth ache…did my taxes… represented the super bowl even though I have never ever watched it before…got a note from my grandma…got some pain meds from the dentist…as well as printing a Google image of a sign twirler wearing a statue of liberty costume, I feel so bad for these people (I am glad we are having a mild winter)…

and just a funny little sticker I put in the brown sack I added to the date title page…

Right Side:

a picture I snapped during a meeting I Skyped into last week…a self photo I took in my car (where I live) and edited with some kind of heat map filter…got a new pillow that I love…everyone in our house was sick with a stomach bug (first mom, then my brother, then me) it was no fun…I was able to do a little craft store shopping (it was hard not to go overboard) which I never get to do because we have only one scrapbook shop with 30 min from our house and it is a bit overpriced…

and the most exciting thing in my week?

my car hit and exceeded 100,000 miles…

I played with adding some flip 4x6 photos so here is the before of the Skype meeting…

and this the after…you see SMILING faces when you flip the first picture up…

I also did that for my car turning from 99,999 to…

100,000

on the underside of the 99,999 photo I calculated all the miles I have put on my car since starting my job on April 1st of 2010…yep, you are reading it right, I have driven (for work) almost 19,000 miles and been reimbursed 7,500 dollars for it…OH how I wish my company reimbursed us at the Federal rate, my company is pretty up on things but they have not increased the mileage rate for over ten years and you and I both know that gas prices have increased since then!

This week looks like it is going to be more of the same…I am enjoying the challenge of trying to find the everyday things in my life to celebrate and record…I may not have a husband or children and I will not allow that to hinder my scraping desires!

Tomorrow I am going to be educating one of my client families on Reactive Attachment Disorder and how to more effectively interact with their son…He has been back home for a week and so far things are going well…

I am lucky to be working with two families right now who are really open to my being in their home and are receptive to being taught new things not only to get DCS out of their lives but because they want to be better parents…

OH YEAH, I am making this post a give-a-way…all you gotta do to is tell me something about you…quirky, silly, boring, or whatever…you don’t have to follow me for a chance to win but I’d sure love it if you did!

The prize you ask? a box of random scrapbooking supplies including 12x12 sheets, and random ephemera (I had no idea what that was until I started scrapbooking)…

this give-a-way will end on 2-13 when a winner will be picked at Random.org…

Until Later…

PL Week 4…

2012-01-30T14:17:00.001-05:00

Well, almost a month into this ‘project life thing’ and I am still going strong…This week’s color scheme kind of reflected the weather…dreary and blue…

Since I used one of the protectors that has 10 little pockets I had a few extras…and I used that opportunity to put one of my favorite quotes of Helen Keller…

I am doing a ton of driving right now and stopped in the rain to take a picture of a big white tree along the way…I also took the opportunity to document the current gas prices…and some of the dreams I’ve been having lately…

I stopped at a few thrift stores on the way home one evening and found a fun pair of black and red checked boots (insanely comfortable) and some fun, quirky, vintage stuff that I can stick in the mail to friends…

Yep, that is Indiana…I put a star where I live, and where my current clients are…they are over two hours apart so to see them both in one day is pretty much impossible…it is going to be a logistical puzzle to get through the next month…

one of my clients lives near a lot of Amish…I am occasionally stuck behind them…on this day it was a man and a boy sitting on folding chairs on a cart…

I also included a shot of the back of my car and the current book I am listening to on CD…

I didn’t do too much fancy stuff this week and I like the simple look…even though it did take a while…I do love the zone I get into when I creating…it is relaxing…

I’m linking up with…

Until Later…

PL Week Three…

2012-01-23T22:24:00.001-05:00

Presenting my Project Life pages for week three…I had a horrible time trying to get pictures with little to no glare (I seriously need to take a photography class to learn about all the technical stuff)…I am still loving PL and I have started taking the PL approach to doing all my photos from the last two years…I am just going to do very, very simple things to them, not care if they are filed in order, and be happy with it…then from now on I will be caught up baby!

This week: Martin Luther King Jr. Day…My Car broke down in a school parking lot 1 1/2 hours from home, I used an infrared effect to make the photo I took of all the lights on a little more dramatic, when they went to tow the car the next day it started right up (SO FRUSTRATING!)…The bottom right photo is taken in the chemo room at the oncologist while I was waiting for the doctor, my test results were clean, Dr. M said that my results were “Stone-Cold Clean” so I put that and the definition on the corner of the photo (I THINK if you click on any of the pictures you can see them a lot bigger to get the details)…

This week I experimented with extra inserts I used one 6x6 insert and two 8.5x11 inserts…

6x6 insert side one: represents how my week went food wise…I did a lot of emotional eating…I angry ate when my car broke, I anxious ate when I was waiting for my test results, and I bored ate while I was waiting for a new case to come…

Side two: I have decided to try and drink only diet Dr. Pepper when I do drink soda…it tastes different but I think I can get used to it…I am finding that I am wanting soda less the more water I drink…I am also finding that I am feeling better now that I am drinking water everyday…it is cheaper that is for sure!

First 8.5x11 insert: This is the reciept for my paid co-pay from the doctors office and my blood test results…the only abnormal result was low lymphocytes and the doctor said that it was not of any concequence…

other side: the bill from the shop that looked at my car we thought was broken but really WASN’T…did I mention it is FRUSTRATING!?

2nd 8.5x11 insert: My EOB (explanation of benefits) from my PET scan…I am responsible for 1500 of it…1000 is my deductible and 500 is my 20%…the bill is so long that…

it was two pages long!

Sunday we went to a birthday party for my cousin Rachael’s daughter Quinn who is turning one on Tuesday…The theme was pink, zebra, and aqua blue…inspired by Quinn’s amazing outfit…it was nice to hang out with family for a little bit…I didn’t bring a present for Quinn so when we got there we helped finish up the decorating and I spruced up her chair she was going to sit in when she had her ‘smash cake’…she is a very content and happy baby who is just days from walking on her own! I did not get a good picture of Rachael so if I see a good on on Facebook I might print it out and add it to this spread…

Until Later…

Project Life 2…I’m Gettin' the Hang of it…

2012-01-16T23:24:00.002-05:00

Well, it is week 2 in my new way of scrapbooking *Project Life* and I am LURVIN’ it! It is so much less stress to do it in small chunks instead of feeling like you have to WOW every occasion with a 12x12 spread…

I have decided to use my label maker using lime green tape with white lettering as the thing that unites all the weeks…I found a GREAT deal on Amazon for 6 cartridges for only 25 dollars…one cartridge at Staples is 17 dollars…

In the middle from left to right are a quote from a client at our closing session (I wrote on the back what the situation was), then a filler card, then one of the foldable journaling cards that I carried with me all week to keep track of my ‘to do’ list…it was mundane but I like having it in the book …

and the bottom row is a stock photo I embellished and then a photo of a windmill in a small town near me.

Below are larger photos of the top right picture…I made this for a friend and had a GREAT time creating it…I could not stop laughing…it is something I ripped out of an Oprah magazine…the two pages are together but I took separate pictures so that the detail would show up more…I know not everyone will think this is funny but seriously I’m just a little bit excited about it…I can’t wait for my friend to get it in the mail I am hoping she gets it today!

here is page two of week two…

The top photo is showing the menu I made out of a fun photo hanging system…I think I am going to next blog about how I made it because it is AWESOME! next is the weight watchers points PLUS…mom went to meeting so now instead of doing the old points system I am doing the new points plus system with her…I added a pink envelope where I wrote and encouraging note to myself (I THINK I have lost almost 5lbs since the start of the year)…

in the middle are two photos of Jennifer Hudson (Weight Watchers Spokeswoman) for inspiration…a photo of a Joy Dare journal I am doing and a filler card…

on the bottom row is my journaling about how we are changing a lot of what we eat and how we set up the WII Fit including what our WII Fit ages were…

Below is a close up of the journal I am using for the Joy Dare I am participating in…I had them printed as wallets and used the picture of the front first and included a few pages of the journal…attaching them together with a brad…I am really happy with how it came out…

I think I am finding my groove in the Project Life experience and I’m ready to roll…it is such a great way to spend a Sunday afternoon…how are you doing? do you feel like you have hit your groove?

I am linking up at…

Until Later…

HELLO 2012 and Project Life…

2012-01-08T20:43:00.001-05:00

Happy New Year! (one week late)…How did you start the new year? Hopeful? Sad? Thoughtful? Resolved?

I started the new year thinking about a word that through-out this year could keep me focused…That word was

CHOICE

Everything I do is a choice…what I put into my mouth is a choice, how I take care of myself is a choice, how I treat others is a choice…only eight days in and this word has made a world of difference in how I think about life…especially food…

If you had to pick a word what would it be?

I have regretted now scrapbooking the last two years…I am left with a large box full of photos printed in the hopes that they make it into a book…I am CHOOSING to let those pictures stay in the box for a while and I am CHOOSING to begin and end the year ‘caught-up’ on 2012…

This is the page documenting my word for the year…

I did go back and do two pages from 2011…

one was Christmas…

and the other was from a night I spent with a good friend and her three little girls…They live in Portugal and this was my first time meeting the three girls she and her husband adopted nine months ago…It was great getting talked with Jayme and do a craft with the girls…

I DO NOT like how the page turned out…the creative juices were NOT flowing!

Here is New Years…I drove up to Jared’s…we went to Kevin’s parent’s home (are both the apostrophes correct?) and sat around talking and laughing…New years day we went to a late breakfast at a local pancake house…and the pancakes were FABULOUS!

I used embossing powder and a heat gun for the gold parts…I always forget how cool embossing is…

So now that things were caught up I start a new year, and a new system…it is called Project Life and I learned about it from the blog Run with Scissors…it is a way to document your life with out having to do a FULL 12x12 spread for every occasion…while I am only a week in, I am in LOVE, it is truly genius…

If you think scrapbooking is too much for you but you would still like to do some kind of remembrance book this is the PERFECT thing for you…you can get the Project Life products on Amazon.com…The ‘core kit’ I got was clementine, but there are three other styles to choose from…one for every style taste…

This is my PL opening page…The cards you get in the core kit come with suggested placement (which truly makes it a no brainer for those who hate scrapbooking (like my mom)). I added some washi tape (this is the first time I have ever used washi tape and it is my new favorite! so easy to tear!), an old stamp from Jamaica, brads, a funny picture of me, a small playing card with a funny zebra on the front, and my label maker to embellish the cards from the kit…the HOPE sticker is not sticking right, so imagine it STRAIGHT!

Second page…on the first slot you put a card from the kit where you can write the week… then I put a Goggled picture of a scale because I am ‘for reals’ going to try, and the corresponding card is the pig card where I stamped my current weight…The bottom left picture is of my PL kit coming in the mail from Amazon…and the last picture is a Portuguese flag with the text of an encouraging e-mail I received from Jayme about something one of her girls said to her about me, instead of journaling about it I put a picture of the little one who said it…

now, the second page of the spread…imagine that the first and second pages are next to each other…This one to the right of the first, that is how the week is formed…This page has Jared and Kevin visiting for a little bit as they were driving through town…Star who is sick, she has lost a lot of weight and is just OLD…Mom’s REALLY OLD Weight Watcher’s calculator artistically with a box of Cheerios, that I am using to help what I CHOOSE to eat, along with a journal card that lists the points of some of the things I ate this week…lastly a Google picture of PET scan images…I had another pet scan on Saturday, it was stressful, and I was hit with a lot of emotion when I walked into the radiology department, I journaled about it on the other side of the journal card with the green labels I printed…

So, there is an introduction to PL…I will probably share once a week or twice a month how it turns out…I won’t probably go into SO much detail regarding what is in each picture but I wanted to give you a clear picture of how PL can work…

I see the doctor on Thursday to get the results of the test…I don’t really have a reason to be nervous but I am…A LOT…I hope I can keep eating as well as I have been and not let it give me an excuse to stuff my face with comfort…

Until Later…

‘Polar Express’ Inspired Bell…

2011-12-19T22:26:00.001-05:00

Last night I realized that my niece and nephews presents needed to be in the mail today if I was going to be sure they would get there before Christmas…

Of course, I was not completely done…

A few weeks ago I was able to drive up and spend a day with Jeri, Kenzie, and Cole…we watched movies in the morning and Polar Express was one that Kenzie chose for me…I had never seen the movie and thought it was super cute…At the end Kenzie said that she would like to get a bell from Santa Claus…a little tid bit I stuck in the back of my head…

Last night I took a plain bell and turned it into magic!

It took a while to get it ‘just’ right and was SO worth the work…after I was done I realized I did not have a box to keep the bell in and was lucky to find this little trunk (in the back of a drawer) I’d been keeping for the ‘perfect’ project…

I added the ribbon, twine, and embellishment…making the perfect bow can be a challenge! and I added quite a bit of craft glue to the back to make sure that it was not going to get unraveled by little hands…

This is what Kenzie will see when she opens it…

and these are the little notes I created in Word…I just took the exact quote from ‘Polar Express’…and in doing a Google image search for “believing in Santa” I found the beautiful photo of Jesus and Santa and added the word Believe…

isn't it great?! I love it when everything works out beautifully!!!!

I want her to not know it is from me that is part of the magic right?

As long as she believes then she can believe it came from Mr. C…

Are you doing anything special this Christmas?

Until Later…

Wrapped up in a Pretty Bow…

2011-12-10T22:46:00.001-05:00

This is the result…

of hours with…

wrapping paper, tape, scissors, and ribbon…

it is SO beautiful!

I was happy to find rolls of wrapping paper in the attic that went perfect with our purple and blue holiday color scheme…

it looks like a lot doesn’t it? I started to feel guilty and then I stopped cause I have nothing to feel guilty about…

My friends have at least two presents each because I can’t help myself when I find a great deal that I think is fun…I love surprises, I love quirky, and I love being able to show that I have put thought and care into presents…I also don’t have a large list of people to shop for, so it doesn’t feel too overwhelming…

I know others hate to shop for Christmas, it makes them stressed…I say (in a fiscally responsible way) HAVE FUN and use this time to CELEBRATE those you choose to live life with …When you use the whole year being mindful of Christmas coming it is easy cheese…

So who are you…one who gets stressed over presents or one who loves the challenge?

Tomorrow afternoon I am going to a clients home to help can pickled beets…it should be interesting…they live in the middle of NOWHERE and have turkeys, chickens, roosters, a horse, and a lot of cats…their lawn is just a big pond of mud and it is a miracle I have not yet fallen (that reminds me, I need to put an extra set of clothes in my trunk, just in case)…the family is not happy I am in their lives and I am slowly getting their trust before the actual ‘work’ begins…I think canning some beets will be a great way to get to know each other don’t you?

Until Later…

Christmas 2011 Décor…

2011-11-27T20:51:00.001-05:00

Well, it is finally done…the Christmas décor is up…and if I have anything say, it will stay up until February…it was a lot more work than I anticipated…requiring the moving of furniture and figuring out wires to make room for the tree…

Earlier I shared with you my inspiration for Christmas decorations this year…A set of prints I purchased months ago from OohMoon…I did not want to buy all new decorations for the purple and blue theme…so I found all the deals I could on blowing up the prints along with using ribbon and a ‘vintage’ roll of blue and purple wrapping paper found at a yard sale…

Dining Room

I was lucky enough to have JUST enough of the striped wrapping paper left to do the angel frame last night…I was worried when I started…

Foyer

I found the JOY sign as well as the metal half circle card holder at thrift stores for 1.50 or so each…I really love how it turned out…

Living Room

pulled back…

bookshelf next to the fireplace…I used the wrapping paper to cover the pictures we had already hanging…what I loved about this paper was that it was thicker, and not so easy to tear…on the other side it is a bit like newspaper where the color comes off on your fingers…

Mantel…I was lucky to find these stockings at the Goodwill (brand new with tags from hobby lobby) for 2.00 each…

other bookcase next to the fireplace…

I found the sleigh in a garbage can three or four years ago and it is one of my favorite holiday pieces…

Tree (sorry the picture is so blurry)…The purple ribbon is from a yard sale and the blue and purple sparkly branches are from a thrift store…

The tree skirt is a shower curtain from a free bin at a yard sale…it is like new and perfect for the color scheme…the cat also loves it…only seconds after I put it down she was lounging on it…

On each side of the dining room divide I used the wrapping paper on two 8x10 frames (mom got for free) and hung a ribbon down the back where we will clothes pin Christmas cards…

The buckets hanging are an advent calendar (from Garnet Hill on clearance for 8 bucks regular priced 75) it is FANTASTIC! I am looking for something to put in them to read everyday ect…If you have any suggestions please share!

I’m not the happiest with this vignette but I just wanted it DONE, so it may change…

Dining room centerpiece…after how decorated the table was for Thanksgiving I wanted to go really simple and clean…

Random view from the back of the dining room

The prints are also incorporated into my Christmas cards which I am ALMOST done addressing…once I am sure they are delivered I will share the awesomeness with YOU!

Do you decorate for the holidays?

Do you send Christmas cards?

Until Later…

Random Thoughts, (and a Winner)…

2011-11-24T02:08:00.001-05:00

#1.Winner…

Winner of my giveaway was comment #3 Jana…I used Random.org to pick the winner…I will be contacting Jana to let her know she won and post what her prize is once I send it…

#2. 36 Hours…

I took a very quick trip to my friend’s…leaving Sunday around 1pm and getting home Monday at 11pm…10 hours of driving and a night of sleep did not leave a ton of time for visiting, but we made the best of it…We went to see the new Twilight movie Sunday night came home ordered some Pizza and talked while we watched the new Madea Christmas Play (very long but extremely funny at times)…Monday we sat in our P.Js watching Veggie Tales and ‘The Polar Express’, then ate lunch at Lonestar, went to JC Penny’s, and got some ice cream (that was one of Kenzie’s choices for the day…she very much wanted some ice cream!) then we came home put Cole down for a nap and fell asleep watching ‘The Incredibles’…I got a bunch of hugs and kisses and some needed time with a great friend…I only got one photo and it was of Cole showing off his underwear (he is potty training) it is super cute but I thought better of showing the whole picture…he is SO FULL of personality…He asked his mom “Why is Auntie April here? It isn’t my birthday.” HIL-AR-IOUS…

#3. Phase one complete…

all the fall decorations are put away, furniture dusted, and floors swept…now it is time to drag the Christmas boxes out of the attic…

#4. Complicated…

Because I like to make things complicated my Christmas Cards are taking a bit longer than I thought they would but it is SO worth it…the LOVE is in the details right?

#5. Lindt…

Lindt Chocolate Truffles (milk) are my favorite Christmas candy…I know that they are available all year long but I do not get them except for Christmas time…They used to have ones with mint chocolate in the middle but I can’t find those anymore…If you get some remember to suck on them…don’t bite…SO GOOD!

#6. Almond Milk…

I have not eaten a bowl of cereal in a while. Every time I do, I get horrible stomach cramps and make frequent trips to the bathroom…I think I am a little bit lactose intolerant…I can eat chesse without too much tummy trouble…I have been looking for this stuff and finally found it, I hope to remember to try it soon…I’ve heard it is really good…

#7. Star…

Here is our silent ninja…she just sneaks up on you (she is REALLY good at it) hoping you have some food for her…since Little Bit died Star has filled her place in begging…I occasionally give her little bits of cooked ground beef (she has a ‘delicate’ stomach)…I wish I knew how to make her eyes not so crazy-like (do you know how to fix that?)…

#8. Finish…

The goal for this long weekend is to get all Christmas decorations done, along with all Christmas cards put together, addressed, and stamped…and maybe make an attempt at sewing some pillows…

Until Later…

Photo Project Finished…

2011-11-20T12:37:00.001-05:00

My photo project is finally completely finished…I took advantage of a great deal the photo site Paper Coterie was having a few weeks ago…They had a sale of 30 dollars of a 30 dollar order, you simply paid the shipping…they also allowed you to use the code more than once…so I did…I also purchased my amazing Christmas Cards from them…their quality is excellent and well worth their price…

The result?

A complete makeover of the photos in my room….

I can’t find any recent photos of what my walls looked like before…but I did not have a lot of photos of people...My idea of friendship has changed A LOT in the last five years and I haven’t exactly felt safe…I am now more confident and satisfied in the few friendships I have and was ready to honor that in the design of my bed room…

I started by cutting butcher paper the size of the photos I ordered…then I printed out the photos and taped those to the paper so that I could move things around…then I lived with the paper for a few days to make sure it worked…

Then the fun began…

Getting all the pictures in the mail! I got lots and lots of boxes…Then I had to figure out how to stick them to the wall so that they were straight…the leveler was at my side the entire time…The pictures are printed on a fabric like material that is sticky, it is repositionable and reusable…that is what makes it so cool!

This is what you see when you walk into my room…

Left side…

Right side…

The girl in the red shirt is the roommate that I lived with for five years after college…

I have mentioned before how much I love this quote…

My transformation from bald to curls…and the cancer center staff…

Overview…

Above the bed…

Here is Little Bit and my niece Kenzie (I LOVE her smile in this picture)…

A photo from a website I follow called OohMoon and a quote I thought was meaningful…

My friends and the little ones they adopted six months ago…and one of my best friends Jeri and I outside of a cracker barrel…

To the side of my bed…

My mom holding her great-niece Quinn…and Jared and I after our fancy dinner for my birthday this year…

Me and my nephew Cole…and a photo of Jesus on the cross I took years ago at the college St. Mary of the Woods in Indiana…that photo was pre digital and I am surprised that it blew up so well…

I also got this quote on a photo sticky…I am just not sure where I am going to keep it permanently…I want to see it everyday so that it reminds me to honor that everyone has something to offer you just gotta found out what it is…

What do you think?

I have got to finish getting packed for a very quick trip north to see three of the people pictured (Jeri, Kenzie, and Cole)…We are going to see the new twilight tonight and hang out tomorrow…then I am back home to put fall away and decorate for Christmas…

Until Later…

They Came!

2011-11-16T21:05:00.001-05:00

My Christmas cards that is…

they are as awesome as anticipated…

can’t wait to share them with you…

Until then enjoy one of my favorite Christmas songs…

My favorite Christmas CD to listen to is Destiny’s Child

…

Until Later…

‘The Finger’…

2011-11-15T21:39:00.001-05:00

Is your middle finger the one that comes to find when you here “Someone gave me the ‘finger.’” It is widely defined as a sign of disrespect and vulgarity…

But I’m not talking about THAT finger…I’m talking about the ring finger…

Yep, the left hand…number four…the signal you send to the world declaring that someone loved you enough “to put a ring on it.”

The past few months have found me thinking about not only MY singleness…but of being single in general…

It has been 7 and a half years since I graduated from college…my friends and I have entered our thirties and life is looking different than it did before…

There are rumblings of couples being separated or getting divorced…couples who if you would have told me the same thing just a few years ago I would say you are CRAZY…

Currently, I am witnessing a close friend go through the the shock, of having to re-build her life…of her children having to rebuild their lives…I grieve with them…

So the question I’ve been asking myself is…

Honestly, I have no idea…but today I do not regret that I am 30 and single…in fact I am 30. single. and never been kissed…I do not envy the idealize the picture of marriage that my twenty year old head created. Because that picture…can fall apart…in the blink of an eye…

I have not always felt comfortable in my ‘singleness’…It was not easy to be the one going home alone after hanging out with married friends…churches despite their best intentions are not the greatest at honoring the needs of the single in their midst, and I have often left feeling ‘not enough’…

“What is wrong with me?”

“There are other fat women who are married…I must be REALLY awful.”

“What do I need to do to CHANGE?”

“Why aren’t I LOVED?”

“Why do I need to be married to feel included?”

Those are just a few of the insidious questions I have allowed Satan to play in my head over and over and over again…Those are just a few of the questions that I allowed Satan to use to break me…And those are questions that I have not asked myself in at least two years…

I don’t know when it happened…but some where along the way I became comfortable with being single…I became comfortable with who God made me to be…

no excuses...and no apologies… (you know unless of course I was a jerk or something)…

Just as I do not let being FAT define me and I do not let having had cancer define me…I WILL NOT let being single define me…I will not be put in a box…cause seriously there has not been constructed an ‘April’ shaped box…just as there has not been a box constructed that can hold YOU (INSERT YOUR NAME)…

Everyday I work with clients that are in SERIOUS risk of losing their children…everyday I show up at their home because they are willing to show up…everyday I choose see them not as ‘unredeemable’ but as already ‘redeemed’ and worthy of His Grace…As I write this I am challenged to continue to not see my clients in a box…but rather to see them as children of the living God…a God who smashes boxes…a God who is using me to smash boxes…

This post got off on a tangent, but I guess that is kind of how my mind works so there ya go…

Being single and 30 is different than being single. 30. and almost certain that you may never give birth to or raise a child…

BUT, Alas…

That is a topic for another post in the near future…

Is there a box you need to bust out of? Is there something that you need to stop allowing to define you?

Until Later…

p.s. go check out this article on ‘singleness’…it is thought provoking…

p.s.s. I want to be super transparent and say that I am on E-Harmony (also a topic for another post if anyone is interested)and I am totally open to being in LURVE…I am just not going to let it define or consume me…

Progress, and Life…

2011-11-14T01:57:00.001-05:00

Firstly, don’t forget to enter my remission giveaway…It will be open until November 21st…

I am up WAY TO LATE trying to finish up some case notes and a service summary for work tomorrow…I have spent most of the weekend holed up in my room watching TV series on DVD…doing laundry, installing my exciting project, and wishing myself to WORK WORK WORK…and instead this afternoon I NAPPED NAPPED NAPPED…from like four to seven…that is NOT an ideal time to nap if you wish to sleep that same night…I’m just saying…

SO…

I thought I would join in on the Authentic Blog Party being hosted by Abigail…Click on her banner to check it out…so far there are 50 other blogs participating…

Abigail’s instructions are to…"Introduce yourself. If you want, tell us a bit about who you are & why you blog…Then, tell us some of those weird things that not everybody knows - the things that make you unique."

So, for any visitors Hi…I’m April…I am also tired which could make for some funny writing!

I started blogging in December of 2008 during a transition time in my life. Little did I know that the transition from living on my own to moving back in with my mom would begin a journey into being diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, having debilitating chemo and radiation treatments and now ultimately living in remission. The journey that began in my submission to God calling me to move home was not one that I was looking forward to obeying…but obeyed I did…and in the end God knew exactly where I would want to be when I got sick…He knew that I would want to be living with family instead of living 5 hours away. He knew that I would thrive in treatment at a smaller hospital with amazing nurses instead of being alone in a larger city facility…and He knew that I would need my mommy when my hair feel out…

Here is just one interesting thing about me…

In college I was able to go to Russia for a missionary trip…it was amazing…and included a lot sight seeing…

during said trip we were taken into the tomb of Lenin and we were supposed to be quiet cause Lenin was a big deal! well, we were American College students and might have been a bit irreverent…and a misguided whisper to the red head in the photo above was LOUDLY

SSSHHHHHHed

by a large and scary Red Square guard

…we laughed SO HARD when we got out of the tomb…but it was also a little bit terrifying…I wasn’t absolutely certain that I would not be jailed for it sometime later…you know taken while I slept or something…lucky that did not happen…and we had a fabulous time!

I think that I am finally ready to lay my head to my pillow and sleep a bit before I gotta get up for work in the morning…

this blog party is about celebrating the authentic blogger, and you can’t get more authentic than me as my Ambien is kicking in! Boo Yawh!

If I didn’t scare you off I’d love for you to check out the rest of my blog…I am hoping to be a lot more consistent in my postings in the near future…I can’t want to go and check out all the other blogs that are attending this authentic party…

Here is the progress on my project…it will be completed by the end of this week and I can’t wait to show you…I am waiting for a couple more things in the mail…I can’t wait to show you in full color the end result!

Until Later…

Excited…but first…

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I’m super excited about a project I’m doing but it will be another week before it is completed so until then I will give you a sneak peak…

Can you tell what I’m doing?

Since I can’t reveal my secret project I thought I would share some more of my recent thrift store/garage sale finds.

Mom recently picked up this book shelf…I LOVE it because it is different…we are thinking it was probably a display shelf for like paperback books or something…

Here it is in action…we are going to spray paint it some form of brown in the future after mom repaints her blue walls tan…

There is a tie for my favorite animal…I love penguins and giraffees…I picked up these cute wooden guys at a yard sale for 5 bucks a piece…the price tags on the bottom say 49.99 for the large one and 39.99 for the littler one…so I’d say I got a good deal…aren’t they WONDERFUL?

I picked up these perfect condition Samsonite cases while pre-shopping the yard sale we had with two of my aunts…I had to rearrange and get rid of a few things to find the perfect place but they really fit in the style of my room…The Make-Up case is holding my head bands, clips, brooches, and tweezers stuff…I have not figured out what I want to keep in the other case…

A while ago I found the orange spoon…recently I found it’s little sister green spoon…meant to be yeah?

My love for vintage is getting stronger…I could not resist this green bag…

Here is a close up of a painted feather…It is a bit country for my taste but the fact that someone took the time to paint a WELCOME feather, matte it, and frame it made it endearing…

and last but not least…the doves…I spray painted them glossy white, and the house chocolate…

and here is how the doves and feather work together on our dining room wall…the tree print and frame the kids and I are in are also from a thrift store…

My friend Sharon over at Where the Ocean Meets the Sand

was nice enough to award me with the versatile blogger award…

To accept this award I have to do a few things

#1. Tell 7 things about me…I will try to pick things that you may not know…

1. I am now on my second time through listening to Harry Potter on CD in the car…

2. Getting a new day planner makes me happy!

3. I like to keep my car clean, inside and out…

4. I have both a work and a personal cell phone and I hate having to keep track of two phones…

5. I can’t seem to find the PERFECT purse and it is driving me crazy!

6. I miss Little Bit almost everyday…

7. Oh my word this list took forever…I’m boring and transparent so there isn’t much I haven’t shared at one time or another

#2. To nominate 10 other blogs for this award…so, in no certain order…

1. Mommy Made from Scratch

2. OohMoon

3. Pretty Little Paper Love

4. Robynn’s Ravings

5. Enjoying the Small Things

6. A Slob Comes Clean

7. Military Fashion Show

8. Hip 2 Save

9. Deco My Heart

10. I’m a Real Life Mom

Until Later…

See the Chains Fall…

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Don’t forget to enter my giveaway…I am loving getting to read all the comments of what people are thankful for in the last year…there are some amazing answers to prayer!

Power Of The Cross

Once in darkness, now in light
Once blind, now you see
Once a sinner, now a saint
Once bound, now free

That's the power of the Cross
See the chains fall
That's the power of the Cross
See the chains fall

Once a stranger, now a child
Empty, now filled
Once condemned, now reconciled
Broken, now healed

That's the power of the Cross
See the chains fall
That's the power of the Cross
See the chains fall

Once a prodigal, now home
Once lost, now found
Once an enemy, now a friend
Once poor, now crowned

That's the power of the Cross
See the chains fall
That's the power of the Cross
See the chains fall

See the chains, your chains fall

-Natalie Grant

Until Later…

Remission, Year One (giveaway)…

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Update: Giveaway ends 11-21 winner announced on 11-22

Friday November 4th was my one year remission birthday remember this?

We celebrated low-key…

I slept in…

Mom made me a cake…

it was chocolate cake with white icing…which took me back to Friday lunch in high school where the tray consistented of Pizza, peaches, and chocolate cake with white icing…did anyone else have the same experience?

I had a client session…

We had dinner at Applebee’s…

and a nice night relaxing at home…

2015

will be the year to have a

PAR-TAY…

Until then, I will give thanks for 1 year of being

CANCER FREE

Last year my thoughts on remission were less than comforting…I can’t say that I feel much differently today…every visit to the oncologist brings fear…the fear that my life can change without any notice…

aside from the amazing undeserved grace and peace that God provides daily…the only thing that calms that fear is that I KNOW now I am strong enough to make it through…ever seen this quote?

It is true…

So please celebrate with me and enter my giveaway…I won’t tell you what it is because well, I am not sure yet…but BELIEVE me it will be fabulous…I would really like to tailor it to the winner…Spread the word, I want more than three entries

The one and only way to enter said giveaway is to leave me a comment stating something with-in the last year you can celebrate!

Until Later…

Design Inspiration…

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While I am enjoying the our fall décor…

I am excited to decorate for Christmas this year.

Awhile ago I purchased a package of inspiring nativity illustrations from OohMoon a fantastic website (here is her facebook fan page) by: Katie…

“Every day for the next year I will create a new illustration (with children in mind). For one day, each illustration will be free for you to download and use and print as you please. This is simply a little gift from me to you. After 24 hours, the illustration will still be available, but for a small purchase price.”

When I see a sale for discount poster prints at Wal-Mart, Walgreens, or CVS I snatch up the deal…so far I have at least an 11x14 of almost all the prints…my favorites (the last two) are printed in 16x20…

So far I have picked up ribbon, and sparkly branches for the tree in colors inspired by the prints…

I have been following OohMoon for MONTHS and love to wake up and discover the next present. There are only 31 days left in her FREE daily illustrations. She has been building excitement around November 14th when she will announce where OohMoon is going next.

I can’t wait to see!

Do you love them as much as I do? It is going to be a purple and blue Christmas up in here!

Until Later…

Grace is All I See…

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Song To The King

You came to the world
For love of one like me
And though I am the worst
Of sinners grace is all I see

Freedom from these chains
My brokenness redeemed
Love and mercy flowing
Down to life eternally

How could I repay such a debt
Expect with my life?
How could I give anything
But sacrifice, sacrifice of praise?

To the King eternal immortal
Be all the glory forever, amen
To the King eternal immortal
Be all the glory forever, amen

In plenty and in want
Your strength is all I need
And deep within this shadow lands
Your glory never leaves

How could I repay such a debt
Expect with my life?
And how could I give anything
But sacrifice, a sacrifice of praise?

To the King eternal immortal
Be all the glory forever, amen
To the King eternal immortal
Be all the glory forever, amen

My praise will go on and on and on
My praise will go on and on and on
My praise will go on and on and on
My praise will go on

Oh, my praise will go on and on and on
My praise will go on and on and on
My praise will go on and on and on
And on and on and on and on and on
And on and on and on and on

To the King eternal immortal
Be all the glory forever, amen
To the King eternal immortal
Be all the glory forever, amen

I give in all of me
This is my offering

-Natalie Grant

Until Later…

Thoughtful…

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A very thoughtful blog friend sent me a gorgeous scrapbook in memory of Little Bit…

she printed pictures off my blog…

the detail is incredible…

I miss Little Bit everyday…

I feel like I lost a big part of who I am when she died…that sounds kind of extreme doesn’t it? But it is accurate…I forget I’m still grieving her loss sometimes and it sneaks up on me like a silent ninja…

having a dog brings a lot of much needed levity to life…

THANK YOU!

Mindy for using your talents to bless…Go check out her blog, she seriously does some amazing work!

Until Later…

Stuff, Stuff, and More Stuff…

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Here are some pictures of my recent yard sale/thrift store finds…Maybe, for the past month or so I have indulged my yard sale/thrift store sense…I have purchased a lot of gifts; two amazing Christmas presents, a few smaller Christmas presents, and a few Birthday presents…I’ve also gotten some great new shirts for myself…

One of the biggest gift scores was something that looks NEW it originally and is still selling for $160.00 for $13.00, I can’t wait for Christmas!

The presents will not be part of the picture show so as to not sporal (that is how my dad would say spoil) the surprise…Some of the finds I am going to try and resale on-line (two are on E-bay right now I wanted to test out with just a couple things to see if they sell)…

I’m wanting to turn this door thing into this…

In love with these orange praying hands…look past the fuzzy picture to see the awesomeness of them!

While I am not sure I will ever have children, I want to keep this for a decoration…

These are the movies I do not want to keep, the lady had a box full of movies and quoted me a flat rate for them so I took it, there were a few Matt Damon movies in the box so of course I SOLD!

These things are amazingly comfortable and they were new WITH the tags…originally 29.99

This is one of the best quarters I’ve ever spent…I’ve been using this almost every night on my neck and lower back, and it really loosens things up!

My love of birds spurred this purchase…It is not a complete set, there are only 26 prints…

I’ve been trying to think of ways to display them…first I have to find the right sized frames because they are large…

A beautiful addition to our dining room…

I can not pass up good storage for a dollar!

Mom got this amazing wood unit…we are planning on replacing the top and using it as a piece of furniture…it is beautiful!

This is a much better way to store my shoes…it really opened up the closet, making it a lot less closterphobic feeling…before I used two hanging shoe organizers…

I have been using this for a couple of weeks and it is PERFECT for my job…

there are six pockets inside and four large pockets on the outside. I can carry around stickers, markers, colored pencils, notecards, and little surprises without feeling bulky or heavy…I have never really been a Vera Bradley fan but I really like this bag…I guess that shows you to never close your mind…

These are such a better way to store our DVDs we can actually see what we have to watch and I stuck them in my office section of the dining room since there is already open storage there and they don’t stick out like a sore thumbs…

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE…

This is mom modeling my new sweater isn’t is beautiful…I love the neck and buttons…

This is on E-Bay right now…can’t wait to see if it sells!

Getting all these things means that a lot of things need to go OUT…

This is the amazing yard sale pile started a few days ago…I have already added a good twenty things to it since…the plan is to go through everything we can in the next couple week (including the attic) and join my aunt in a yard sale she is having…I heart purging…

all together the things on this page total…$87.58…there is quite a bit that I did not take a picture of so I do not know the TOTAL total and that is OK with me!

Until Later…

Celebration Weekend

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Friday I took a five hour drive to have a special night with my niece…she turned six this last Monday and her birthday party was on Saturday. We made the most of my visit and I took her on a ‘date’ Friday night.

I let her pick where we went to eat…I was thinking TGIF’s or Applebee’s, maybe Steak-n-Shake, or pizza…well the McDonald's Play Place won out and we had a fabulous time…

This is one of Kenzie’s better shots…

the kid in the back ground was having a great time watching me be silly!

This was the big birthday girl meal…

a happy meal with milk…an ice-cream cone she went up and purchased on her own…and later we added a cookie to the mix…Kenz very much enjoyed going up, ordering and paying for things on her own…and I got a kick out of how much she enjoyed it…

After dinner we went to the hotel and had a swim (I did not get any pictures of that)…then we went up to the room where Kenzie took a really long bath and then snuggled up in her penguin pajamas to watch a movie on my computer while I took a shower.

After some “stalling'” (which is Kenzie’s word) of: I want my mommy, I’m hungry, I’m scared…we finally got to sleep somewhere between 10:30 and midnight…

Seven o’clock came early and Miss Kenz jumped out of bed ready for the ‘hot breakfast’ She was so excited about breakfast even the night before so I was glad that it did not disappoint her…

She kept saying “This is such a wonderful breakfast…I have a doughnut, cereal, a waffle, and a biscuit”…I thing she only took a few bites of each…because she was too busy saying how wonder the hotel was and how great the breakfast was, and how she wanted to stay there ALL day!

Here we are in our matching penguin pajamas…

After a quick stop to pick up some emergency icing for the princess cake her mama was making her we made it her house where the party was to start in a few hours…

I was so glad to have those few hours before the party to cuddle with MR. Cole…and to be silly with one of my best friends; his mama…

He greeted us in his diaper holding a Swiffer and ~~cleaning~~ dancing around…I am sad I didn’t get a picture of it because it was hilarious!

He was scared of a remote control car the other kids were playing with so I held him because he was “scared” he is SO HEAVY that I got him to let me sit down with him and we played for a while…I love his ~~little~~ big personality…and I can’t wait to see him grow and grow into who he is going to become…

It will be all too soon before he isn’t scared of anything and doesn’t need me or anyone else to hold him and to protect him from the car…

This was a random face gesture that CRACKED ME UP! I couldn’t get enough, and made him do it over and over and over…

This is probably my favorite picture of me and Kenz…I tickled her right before her mama took the picture and we got a great shot of her real smiley laughing face…

That is the face she likes to do when you ask her to smile…

And there she is beautiful as always…

Then me and Mr. Man…he got the perfect picture in one take!

Funny story…I took him upstairs to get him dressed and I gave him choices of two shirts and two pants…so I said “Do you want this one, or this one?” to which he replies “This one” but he didn’t point to one…so I asked again and he said the same thing with a look of mischief on his face…finally I said “Cole, point to the one you want to wear, this one, or this one” and that worked…he pointed saying “this one” and smiled…It was super cute to me anyway…He is talking so much more than before and he is really good at mimicking what you are saying to him, making you think he understands…

Then as I am putting his pants on I look over and saw my car keys under the bed…Mind you, I have only been there like 15 minutes during which time he had stolen my keys taken them upstairs, hidden them under the bed, and gotten back down stairs without anyone noticing…so when I saw them I laughed and asked “Did you take my keys and put them there?” He just looked at me smirked and shook his head ‘yes’ then we had a good laugh and tickle session…

Here is JERI presenting the gorgeous cake she made for Kenzie…it was a very well done castle…she was very proud of it!

The birthday girl blowing out the candles…

Little brother enjoying the cake…

Kenzie was all smiles opening presents…

and especially excited about some gold glitter nail polish…

MOTHER DAUGHTER LOVE

and I will end with a great picture of Cole with his Aunt Jaime (Jeri’s sister)

A good time was had by all…I also hit up a lot of yard sales on the 5 hour drive there and back, also today mom and I went to 20 yard sales and Good Will…and got some pretty great stuff that I plan on sharing hopefully tomorrow…

Until Later…

Fall Décor 2011

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Well, the house now looks and with the aid of candles smells autumnal. For the first time in at least two years (maybe more) we decorated for fall…Last year I was too sick and now with almost a year of remission under my belt I felt it was time to step up my game…

To follow are lots of pictures and few words…It is amazing how pictures can show all the flaws in something…I am sure I will move a few things around getting it JUST right…Like the fabric behind the DVD player is a little wonky (can’t have that can we?)…

The table ended up one of my favorites…

I think I am going to change the BEST bunting to FALL…maybe that will be a good project for tonight…

Until Later…

Little Bit 1999-2011

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Yesterday was the day…My brother and mom took her to the vet, and let her go…I made the choice that it was time and called the vet to schedule a time, I knew she needed to go but I did not need to watch it happen…

I already miss her…

I miss her not watching me eat and begging for a bite…

I miss taking care of her…

I miss snuggling her…

I miss everything about her…

Yesterday I was sleeping when mom came into my room to get her…I was not going to get up but decided I needed to say goodbye…When I got up I asked mom where the dog was and she said that Little Bit kept trying to get back into my room…

I picked her up and she let me cuddle her for about ten minutes before mom and Christopher had to take her…

This is amazing because Little Bit WOULD NOT let me snuggle with her the night before…Her tumor on her tummy was big and I think when I would try to hold her she was uncomfortable and always wanted down…

I think yesterday morning she knew what was going to happen…because she melted into my chest looked into my eyes and let me hold and pet and kiss and snuggle with her…

To deal with my grief I am cleaning and decorating for fall…it is better than sitting around being sad…

We are also kind of doing a big cleaning of the house before mom has her knee surgery next Thursday, so that is something besides work to keep me busy…

I might try to find and scan a picture of her when we first go her…she was SO tiny…I THINK I know where to look for one…

Until Later…

A start…

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Tuesday I started something…for a few months God has been asking me

“Are you ready?”

To which I replied…ummmmm, yep…I will start tomorrow o.k.? A week later I heard

“Are you ready?”

Yes, God I’m ready…you know how I like things to be ordered, so I will start on Monday.

Later…

“April. Are you ready?”

Yes, God. I’ve been reading a book on it, and looking at some websites…Next Monday it is!

you can see the pattern we took…until Tuesday…it was a Tuesday so that was already a day I would never pick to start something…and it was the 6th which is just super random…but I jumped in and said yes…

Yes, God I will fast because you are asking me too…

We SET

the rules of the fast…they are unique to me and God…it is not a total fast, where I only drink water for 40 days…Honestly, I don’t think that kind of fast would be fair to anyone…not to my clients, not to my family, and not to the general public…

#1. Eat only dinner…

#2. Exceptions to the eat only dinner rule is fruit flavored yogurt, pieces of fruit, 1 serving of cheddar cheese, and sugar-free gum. I’m doing this out of obedience, not to suffer…and I think with all the driving I do and how present I need to be with my families these exceptions are necessary …

#3. I can drink whatever I want (including soda) but I have been tapering my soda intake for sure…

#4. Stop watching the ‘Real Housewives’ series…I love this show…well, because I love most reality shows…I am fascinated with how other people live…I can’t help myself…

#5. NO SWEETS, no chocolate, no cake, no pie, no cookies, no dessert type food…NONE

#6. No eating out…

I have also started keeping a daily journal that logs what I ate that day and has a check list of things I want to get done…those include; making my bed, writing one letter or card, blog, check my E-Harmony account, (yep, I joined E-Harmony a couple of months ago now, that is a whole ‘nother post) and specific cleaning things I’d like to get done each day…

Now I was ready to GO…

It has been six days and nights…and I have been successful…I have not eaten ANY sweets and I have not gone out to eat AT ALL…

There were certainly days when I really, really wanted a cookie, or peanut butter m&ms but I denied myself…and in that denying of myself of those things that I crave (for whatever reason; boredom, anxiety, sadness) I received confirmation of God’s view of me…He KNOWS that I am capable of doing what he asks, He knows my fears in following…

I am unclear to how long this fast will last…Right now I am almost at a week and will shoot for another…

I’ve had no amazing spiritual breakthroughs and I have not gotten a $5,000 check in the mail (quite the opposite actually, which will be explained in tomorrows exciting post titled “The Terrible, Horrible, Awful, No Good Day”) But I have notice a subtle shift in how I am relating to God…and in how I am feeling about my days…

So another week it is…I’ll check in next week and let you know how it continues to go…

I VERY MUCH want the chocolate pudding pie in refrigerator with the amazing graham cracker crust made by mom…I seriously might just eat a piece…would that be taking advantage of God’s grace? (*wink*)

What are you experiences, questions, concerns, judgments, with fasts?

I am sure I will need some encouragement through this so please feel free to drop me a comment of encouragement when ever the spirit leads you…

Until Later…

Look Who I Found…

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Hanging out in my closet…

I couldn’t find her and POW there she was…

sleeping away…

she is just SO cute!

Until Later…

Random Thoughts…

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#1. Focus…

I am having a super hard time focusing…change is coming and that increases my anxiety which increases my amazing ability to procrastinate…I promise, I can procrastinate better than you can!

Having to close a case before it really got started and having my final session with another case means that two new cases are coming my way and with the way trainings, and other required meetings are falling in September there is barely room to start one new case much less TWO…So instead of finishing up case notes, and making sure that paperwork is in order…I am finding myself getting stuck playing breaking bricks

for an embarrassing amount of time…

It can be a bit of a PAIN working from home…I LOVE it, but life would be a lot easier with a printer, a copier, and a fax machine…I think that I have decided the cost of ink and paper is a fair trade for the convenience of doing my case notes, e-mail, and paperwork from my couch…and not having to punch a time clock or account for every single minute of my time…I am blessed to have a supervisor that is available ANYTIME for questions but does not micro-manage…it makes my heart very happy…

#2. Little Bit is sick…

I took her to the vet a while ago and he did some tests…the vet said that if we went ahead with removing the tumor on her stomach that she would die, so putting out the 800 dollars to get the surgery was not a good idea…he told me what to look for as she get sicker, and said that dogs do not show they are hurt so the signs to look for are; panting, refusing to eat, not wanting to move ect…that if they were in a pack in the wild and showed weakness the pack would kill them…which makes sense when you think about it…

I am watching and feeling the weight of the responsibility that comes with deciding when her pain is more than my desire for her not to die…I can’t imagine NOT having something to take care of and love on and feed everyday…I AM a pet person specifically a dog person and I just keep praying that she will miraculously recover…

I am feeling an extraordinary amount of guilt for not being a better pet owner…we just could not afford before now to even think about getting her surgery…with my being sick and having a crappy job last year, and Christopher being unemployed for over six months medical procedures for the dog were just out of the question…

Also Star our cat is losing weight and I think close to leaving us as well…she is like sixteen years old so it isn’t a surprise that she is showing signs of slowing down…

It can be a bit overwhelming thinking about losing them both close together…

Yep, I am sad…

On a decorating side-note…

don’t you love her new bed in my room…she is no longer able to jump onto the bed and was getting increasingly irritated with me when I moved in the middle of the night, so I bought her a suitcase and gave her some new digs…she loves it, when I was setting it up and trying to get the stuffing ‘just’ right for her she kept getting in and snuggling up before I could finish…I think that is as close as she can come to saying Thank You I like me some suitcase beds!I did not go all out decorating the inside of the case like I did for her living room bed but I really like the gold/orangey interior and it fits perfect where it is…

The bear is 30 years old…my dad gave it to me in the hospital the day I was born, and growing up I COULD NOT sleep without it…I kind of remember naming it Billy at one point but I could be wrong…

#3. The case that wasn’t…

My official second case never got off the ground… The mother was released from jail a week after I met her…and was taken back to jail for a positive drug test just two weeks later…I never even got to meet the children…What I did get to do however was sit in a court room TWICE and watch a judge in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS tell the family that they are headed to termination of parental rights…in fact during the second court session a date was set to terminate…I found it difficult and sobering to watch…a mother crying, a father promising to do better, and a judge who has never terminated rights ready to do so…

#4. Brothers…

My brother is driving me NUTS…maybe brothers will always have that special button they can push…but there is literally NO ONE ELSE on this earth than can make me as angry as he can…he makes me want to punch him!

#5. Kindle…

I got my mom a Kindle for her birthday…she is getting orthoscopic surgery on her knee in a few weeks (the day before her birthday) and I thought that it would be the perfect thing to keep her busy during her recuperation…I think she will be off work for like a month and I am not sure how long she will need to be off her knee entirely…

I have been amazed at the amount of Christian/historical romance books I’ve found for free, I have been collecting them in my amazon library since before I got my Kindle so that when she got one she would have a lot to choose from…There was also a 99 cent sale on some word find games…

she said that she loves it which I feel is high praise! I am personally addicted to scrabble on my kindle and need to play it every night before I go to sleep…

Another thing I love about Kindle (like I needed another thing!) is that you can buy as many as you want under your account and all those devices have access to your library so it is perfect for families…mom and I could even read the same book at the same time if we wanted…

And I am telling you if you are even THINKING about getting a Kindle get on Amazon and start collecting free books…you can get an application for your computer and start building your library before you commit to buying one…

#6. Skins…

I found a really good deal on a computer skin and was able to get matching skins for my computer, phone, and kindle all for less than the computer skin plus FREE shipping…I can’t wait to get them! Here is a sneak peek of what they look like…

I can’t wait for them to get here!

#7. Insurance…

As of September 1st I am no longer on state Medicaid…I’m now covered by my work’s medical insurance…

I can not begin to state the amazing blessing it was to qualify for Medicaid at a time when I was uninsured and in desperate need of coverage…

I feel a pang of guilt and a huge sense of unworthiness when I hear stories of others who are drowning in medical bills…can you imagine how much my chemo, radiation, hospital stay and all those doctor bills would have added up too?

along with that feeling of unworthiness I am feeling anxiety because, I am now responsible for a deductible, percentages of bills, and copays…these things are super NORMAL but honestly, I am terrified to find out what 20% after my deductible of the PET/CT Scans/ect that I will be ordered to have a yearly…

I am under no illusion that God’s hand has been and continues to be on

EVERY PAGE

of this story…including being hired for my current job…now it is up to me to be a good steward and plan accordingly…

#8. Zoo…

I got to take my client to the zoo…a good time was had by all…but there were defiantly some stressful moments…I may have found trying to teach parenting skills in the middle of a zoo stressful…I wish I could show you a picture of the kids having fun because they seriously are the cutest EVER, but…

client=HIPP=privacy=NO PICTURES…

so I will leave you with this one…

Isn’t this bird the coolest?

………………………………………………

Can you believe that I have not written a random thoughts post since June 11th?

INSANE…

I want to blog more and I think I need to blog more, for me…which is really the only reason to blog isn’t it?

Well, I should get back to breaking bricks…I have an impossibly high score to try and beat…

Have a great holiday weekend…

Until Later…

Finding my Style…

2011-08-23T16:42:00.001-04:00

I’ve not blogged in a while…things with work have been hopping…and I just haven’t felt inspired to share anything…Last weekend I attended the Women of Faith Conference in Indianapolis…it was AMAZING! The women who speak and share their hearts were such a blessing to me…I learned SO much, was challenged in amazingly simple ways, and inspired to get unstuck…

I will probably share a bit about the conference after I have had time to go over the copious amounts of notes I took and to digest all that was thrown at me…

these were the speakers minus Ken Davis (Angie Smith spoke and she was WONDERFUL! I can’t explain how someone can be so funny and make you cry ALL at the same time…)

Now, onto finding my style. I’ve always had an ‘eye’ for decorating…and over the years my style has evolved from freshman dorm room chic to apartment living perfect to back at home fusion of mother and child…The past six months or so I have kind of fallen in love with mid-century modern…I know it isn’t unique…a lot of people love the style…

When you look at mid-century modern it seems an unlikely choice for me…but I am in love! the clean lines, the legs of the furniture, the lightness and airiness to the rooms draw me in…

About a month or so ago I got a new bedside table arrangement…I had been stalking it at a local store and waited until they were willing to take the price I wanted before purchasing…

aren’t they WONDERFUL? It is three separate boxes stacked on top of each other..the drawers are surprisingly roomy, I haven’t got anything in the bottom drawer yet. I am just in love with everything about them…I think it gives such a great vibe to the room…

Here are few other examples of my love for all things mid-century;

an old blue hair dryer…It still works and does not blow air like AT ALL, I don’t know how anyone got their hair dry with it…

This is a super fun looking tea pot I picked-up a little bit ago…the steel part comes of completely to put water in…

To complete the makshift table next to the rocking chair I added a super roomy metal breadbox I picked up at a yard sale for a dollar…I just love how it all came together…

I feel like my new love started when I bought these kitchen canisters at the thrift store last year…they have started me on a wonderful adventure of new decorating ideas…

Until Later…

State of Indiana Makeover…

2011-07-27T23:12:00.001-04:00

The other day while perusing I found this awesome tray in the shape of Indiana for 1.99…I passed it up the first time and went back a few day later because I could not get it out of my mind…

I spray painted it glossy blue and hung it up next to our entertainment center…

The before…

The after…

I love it…what do you think?

Until Later…

Vacation (Zoo)..

2011-07-17T20:10:00.001-04:00

Making pancakes breakfast…

The weather was perfect for a day at the zoo, it was hot but not humid, and it was refreshing to chug down expensive bottles of Sprite throughout the day…We also got lucky that Tuesdays at the Zoo is half off admission (which made buying the expensive bottles of Sprite all the better)…

I didn’t get a lot of great pictures but here are some of the better ones…

We recently had to pay to get bats removed from our attic, after they got comfortable enough to come into the living room one night…they are ugly beasts…and it was fun to step back and watch the kids react to seeing them…

We were able to touch these sharks…the water was FREEZING and felt really good, I’m short and it was a bit difficult to reach them…I was surprised not to see one of the kids fall in…Although we did see one kid come two seconds away from swimming with the sharks…

The penguins are my favorite, and it seems everyone elses as well…there was a LARGE crowd surrounding them…

One of my not so secret wishes is to have these little guys walking around at my reception if I ever get married…wouldn’t that be the greatest?

The day was relaxing, a nice way to talk without going out to eat or sitting inside…

The next day I left Jared’s…the plan was to go and visit my friend Molly, but because she had something unexpected come up, and because my body was revolting from all of the nights sleeping on couches and all the time driving in a car, I choose to cut my trip short and just come home for a couple of days around the house…I am planning a time next month to go and visit with Molly, she lives relatively close (Just two hours away)…

One more vacation post left!

Get ready for the Creation Museum!

Until Later…

Vacation (Alpacas)…

2011-07-16T23:31:00.001-04:00

They have a scrabble board that rotates which makes playing easier for sure…We enjoy popping in a dvd and sitting at the coffee table playing a game or two…as you can see we were watching Golden Girls…

Good Times…

On the 4th we went to a cookout at Kevin’s dads house in the country…they have four alpacas and Janie (his dads wife) makes things out of their fur…they had just been shaved and I loved how they looked like bobble heads…

This is Tucker and he is AWESOME at playing frisbee…

Action Shot!

He catches the frisbee while it is still in the air and will bring it back to you and drop it at your feet to do it again…I loved it because Little Bit does not fetch (never has)…

Janie showing off some of what she has made with the alpaca wool…

She has made a couple of purses and a beautiful scarf…

I thought the alpacas were great and Janie offered to harness them so we could lead them around and get closer…They were kind of skittish but a couple would let you touch and hug their necks…Alpacs spit and you could hear them gearing up to spit just in case they didn’t like you…none of them did spit though so I guess that was good…

This is my favorite…

We had a bonfire, and cooked up some s’mores…

It was a nice time together…

Tomorrow we go to the ZOO!

Until Later…

Vacation (Eagle’s Nest Edition)…

2011-07-16T00:34:00.001-04:00

My first night at Jared and Kevin’s we got al dressed up and went to the Eagle’s Nest in Indianapolis for a FANCY dinner…

The Eagle’s Nest is a rotating restaurant at the top of a building…

I have wanted to go there for a few years, and Restaurants.com had a 50 dollar off certificate on sale for 5 dollars so I grabbed that up and made the reservations for 9:30…it was still pretty light out when we got there…

I thought the green light in the capital building made it look like aliens were about to attack…

Jared and Kevin deciding what to order…

Our waiter asked us if we were celebrating anything and so we said my birthday and a few minutes later the mater de came and gave me this card…I thought it was fun…

Smile!

The appetizer was goat cheese on fancy toasted bread…I did not like it…but that is NO surprise…I did, however, enjoy the fresh baked bread and cheese butter that came with the meal…

then it got DARK…and all around the horizon we could see fireworks going off…it was only the 3rd of July and the fireworks were not close but it was really fun to see that there were SO MANY people celebrating at the same time…(I could not get a good picture of the fireworks in the horizon)…

I had been sitting for a while and when I got up to go to the bathroom my feet start hurting a lot…my solution was to let my pinky toe go FREE!

These shoes are now in the Goodwill pile…

This next picture shows one of my design pet peeves…#1. I HATE cords, if they can be hidden they should, if you notice in catalogs (for the most part) pictures of things that require cords are magically missing their cords…you wanna know why? BECAUSE THEY LOOK TACKY…and #2. This Hotel was NICE and they went through all the trouble to make it look nice, and then do THIS…seriously people I can get fired up about it…if I was a manager of a hotel this would be UNACCEPTABLE…

Jared and I…

It was a really nice night and I am so glad we got all dressed up and treated ourselves…it was probably the most expensive dinner I will ever eat (even with the coupon but it was so worth it and a great start to a great visit)…

There are three more vacation posts, I have them mostly done so there shouldn’t be any more gaps!

Until Later…

Vacation (part 1)…

2011-07-10T14:34:00.001-04:00

My vacation will come in various posts probably around six so that none of them are CRAZY long …I have not been able to see one of my favorite families for almost two years…the last time I actually laid eyes on them this little (big) guy I’m holding was only around 6 weeks old…

He was a great cuddler!

My friend was visiting her sister and her sister was nice enough to let me stay with them as well on their pull out couch…

The first night Jeri and I went to Baker’s Square and had a birthday dinner…I had me a yummy piece of Oreo pie for dessert…we talked and enjoyed each others company while the kids were at home playing with their cousins…

The next day we got up and went to a farmers market where I got an amazingly moist and tasty loaf of banana bread…then we went home, hung out for a bit and played in the plastic pool in the backyard…the pool was originally for the dog but it did not want to get into it…it was a HOT day!

Kenz is growing up too fast…she is tall and beautiful…her obsession right now is princesses and she is drawn to anything beautiful, and sparkly…but don’t let that fool you she has two boy cousins and a brother and can be a tomboy with the best of them…

Cole and his BELLY…he took a long time getting used to the water before he got in…

YEP, tastes good!

After lunch we went to a splash pad and let the kids run around…I also ran around with the kids getting soaked and wearing my new bathing suit for the first time…sadly my camera had died earlier in the day and I was not able to take pictures…it was A LOT of fun!

After the splash pad, Jeri and I stayed with the kids while her sister and brother in law went on a date…I went a got a new camera during this time and once the kids were asleep Jeri and I played a game of scrabble…a favorite tradition of ours…We make up rules as we go, and use nontraditional words, generally having a lot of fun…

I took this picture at the breakfast table before church…I’m not sure what was being talked about but it looks serious…

Cole’s nickname is Ham or Hammy mostly I think because of his size but seriously the kid is a ham with his personality as well…he has the GREATEST faces! and just the cutest personality…

Here I am trying to get a picture with my curly hair and to show off my new camera…I am finally understanding how to do my hair and I think I am in LOVE…I’ve got a much better hair shot to share in a few days…

LOOK! Cole is as big as my suitcase! I fit everything for my trip into one bag but it was a huge mama jama bag…

A happy Cole with his Mama during church…

After church we went to Cracker Barrel where I let the kids use my camera to take a few pictures around the table…we had a round table which I much prefer it is much better for conversation…

This is Mike and Jamie, the wonderful people who let me stay with them…

Kenzie with her Uncle Mike and Aunt Jamie…

Here is Wes and Kenzie playing some checkers…if you look REALLY closely you can see that Wyatt is back there hiding…he was being silly and not letting me take his picture…

again with the FACE! I just want to squeeze him…

Jeri and I…we were both still ‘church pretty’ so pictures were allowed…

on the way to Jared’s I stopped at a well known landmark and tested out the zoom on my new camera…here is the first picture I took…

zoomed in a little…

zoomed in a lot…I am for sure happy with how it turned out and am kind of glad the other camera broke…I’m trying to live life only replacing things if they break or wear out and so it was a great excuse! plus I was on vacation and could not NOT have a camera…

In all the first section my vacation was wonderful…I was able to hang out with a wonderful friend….and get some rest in the process…nothing felt rushed or too scheduled…there was time for naps and watching Gilmore Girls which is always super important…

Next I went to my friend Jared’s…

Until Later…

Ready…Set…GO!

2011-06-30T23:52:00.001-04:00

Proof that I am almost done packing for my vacation…

I’m excited that most everything fit into the HUMONGOUS red suitcase…I like to pack a lot of options so that I’m not stuck wearing something I don’t feel good in…I just have an extra messenger bag for my computer, GPS, camera, cords ect…and then my purse, and my dress…I THINK I can stuff my pillows in the suitcase right before I leave…

It is not even my OFFICAL birthday yet and I have already had a great one…I’ve gotten two cards in the mail, a few early Facebook messages, a fun e-card and…

a surprise present in the mail today…my former roommate sent me a MICHE bag…I have been wanting one of these for a years, they are the kind of bag where you buy a base bag and then get shells that can interchange and connect to the base bag with magnets…she got me the mini bag so I am going to use it on the fancy night out I have planned for Sunday night…

since I won’t see mom on my birthday she gave me my present last night…it is a thermal lunch tote from the company Thirty One…isn’t it fun? I using it on this trip to hold my shower stuff in the suitcase…

I know I have been talking about how excited I was to get a bike…I went to Wal-Mart and tested the bike out but it was too tall (26 inch wheels) so I made the responsible/safe choice and found a 24 inch wheel bike that still had the vintage feel I was looking for…it is cute, and I can’t wait to ride it around when I get home…I got it a few days ago but had to fix a screw before I could ride it and it took a few days to get that done…isn’t it adorable…I took all the stickers off, they were not placed on the bike very well and that was driving me a bit crazy…the seat is bigger and pretty comfy! and I will have to get used to the back brakes

I decided that I was OVER having a trac phone and that it was time to get a for real phone plan again…I am with Verizon now, and got the LG Octane for free…I am in love with the phone, I can text like nobody’s business and it can be used closed or open…I am not going to be using it for the internet cause that can get a bit expensive (and I don’t need that)…

I am already feeling more connected to friends with the freedom to text more…and my three closet friends have Verizon so we can talk whenever and it won’t use up minutes…

of course I had to pimp out my new phone…I ordered this case and hope it is here waiting for me when I get home…I think it is subtle and pretty!

I am so ready for BED…good night world..

happy 30th birthday to me and happy Canada Day to all the Canadians…

Until Later…

Preparation…

2011-06-25T23:00:00.001-04:00

I am preparing…

as my first case come to a close I am preparing to leave the family educated and equipped…

as my first paid vacation in over two years comes closer I am preparing an itinerary that I hope to be a good mix of activities and renewal…

and as my thirtieth birthday approaches I am preparing to plunge into this new decade of life with optimism and hope…

the tentative list of birthday vacation activities include

* an elegant night out (fancy pants dressed up at a fancy pants restaurant)…

* going to the ZOO…

* going to the Creation Museum…

* doing a fair bit of driving…

* hugging, kissing, and squeezing my niece and nephew…

* spending some sole-soothing time with a dear friend…

* worshiping together with friends…

* lots of laughing and picture taking…

* living life with a friend whose home (regardless of location) has over time become my home as well…

* watching fireworks I’m sure…

* and maybe playing some games, going bowling ect…and I have to get some me some Texas Roadhouse at least once…

I guess that is a good start…I just want to have fun…I want to have experiences…I want to make memories…I want to come back feeling loved, renewed, and ready for the rest of the year…(I am aware that is a lot to ask out of a vacation)

I have been doing some art journaling lately and last night journaled the activities I’d like to do…

I will also have to do a post soon of the other pages I’ve made in the last few weeks…it has been nice to journal more again…I am not sure why I stopped…

also, there is movement on the coveting a bike front…I know it is not possible to get it for my birthday, but another avenue has opened so my dream has not been squashed…I am doing something tomorrow which is allowing me to earn some money, and friend is making my birthday present money toward the bike, after I add some of my July mileage check to the fund…I will be riding down the road in NO TIME!

Until Later…

She PASSED!

2011-06-23T22:35:00.001-04:00

After talking back a forth between my supervisor, her supervisor, and someone else at my agency…it was decided that it was my choice (liability) whether or not I wanted to allow my client to use my car to take her driver’s license test…

and my choice was to let her…I mean, if she is going to get her license she was going to be on the road so why not…

Toda was the day…she took my car and 15 minutes later was back to say that she PASSED!

It was a super exciting day…she has not been the easiest person to work with, she is resistant to most anything I bring up (it is all the states fault that her life is difficult)…and this being my first case has made things kind of discouraging…

so being able to do this today was nice…

also yesterday her son got five out of five stickers for his behavior at his school’s summer program…

this is huge considering his first day was a bit of a disaster…

We have only 28 days with each family, that includes weekends so the time goes by very quickly…Once I close this case at the end of the month I am taking a week vacation and then will start getting cases that do not have to be accompanied by my supervisor…

I am excited for the challenge and think that I am going to end up really liking this job…what a privilege to be able to help families in a time of crisis…

Until Later…

Perfection…

2011-06-19T22:40:00.001-04:00

My birthday is soon (I think I mentioned that last week)…I have not asked for anything…mostly because there is nothing that I wanted…and also because I was sick last year during my birthday and life was all about ME, so this year even though it is the big 30…I thought it would be good to just let it pass…without any of my silly ‘it is by birthday’ excitement…

That is until today…

Mom and I went to Wal-Mart to pick up a few things, and on our way to the register…

FELL

LOVE

with this bike (check out the link for a really good picture)…

it is fun, and I wouldn’t mind having a bike to do some exercise on…I had a bike a few years ago I’d found for cheap in the classifieds and I used it…but when I moved I didn’t have room for everything in the truck…

Here is another picture I found on-line that maybe shows it better…

the handle cap things look wood grain, and it comes with a pouch for the front, and a cup holder…the seat looks plenty wide and comfortable, and the cream, brown, and aqua colors are SO ME…(in the picture it looks a bit more yellow, but in person it is cream)…

I might have turned into a five year old in the store, practically jumping up and down promising I’d be a good girl if I could have this for my birthday…I know that it is super short notice for my mom as far as planning to get it for me but I am just so excited that one way or another this will be mine by the end of the summer…

Just thought I’d share my excitement…

Is there something you would turn into a five year old and jump up and down to get?

Until Later…

Awesome Gift…

2011-06-18T20:10:00.001-04:00

Recently I got a friend a present…They have already received it so I can now share it with you…I have to say that it was AWESOME!

I bought it from Ten Thousand Villages…

per their website they are:

“A Fair Trade Retailer.
To create opportunities for artisans in developing countries to earn income by bringing their products and stories to our markets through long-term fair trading relationships.”

I was (of course) able to get an amazing deal…regularly they were 98 dollars and I was able to get them for 22 dollars with free shipping…

Yep, I got a trio of metal lizard (like) musicians…

I did not know what to expect but…

I loved them…

and my friend LOVED them…

they are really well made, and beautiful…

my friend said he is going to put them in his classroom next year (he is a music teacher)…

If you are looking for a unique gift, consider going to Ten Thousand Villages and supporting their efforts…they have a great selection of gifts and currently some really good clearance…

Until Later…

The Alarmists…A Book Review…

2011-06-14T13:55:00.002-04:00

“Sociologist Brent Michael’s specialty is seeing order in the chaos of human interactions and he’s just been given the most important assignment of his life. Joining a special Pentagon unit headed by colonel Jameson Richards, they have one goal. Uncover why the world is rushing toward doomsday.

It’s December 2012 and the world is approaching the brink of panic-the timing of which eerily coincides with the ending of the Mayan calendar. But, beneath the despair of fanatics and doomsayers, and amid a rising tide of both man-made and natural disasters, something far more dangerous emerges-someone is manipulating events pulling strings, and only Michaels and the team have a chance of stopping it.” –from the back cover

does that not sound like a great story?

If only the book was as good as the back of jacket…

yeah, I did not like this book…I really wanted to…but it lost me a little more than a chapter in…

There were too many words…it was too descriptive…so descriptive that I wanted to give up…also there were too many characters…too many places…too many things going on at once…

the characters were engaging and I wished that the author would have developed them more…I longed to know more about them…

Also the plot was confusing…the book description makes you think that everyone thinks the world is coming to an end, and there is a time of crisis…not so much…

so anyway, I didn’t like it…I don’t know how to review it farther than I have…

I had to MAKE myself finish…I felt obliged since I got the book for free to review…

I got this book from Bethany House for review purposes…all reviews are my own…I am not required to give a positive review…

Until Later…

Jesus, My Father, the CIA, and ME…A Book Review…

2011-06-12T00:38:00.001-04:00

"When I first discovered the grainy picture in my mother's desk-me as a towheaded two year old sitting in what I remember was a salmon-orange-stained lifeboat-I was overwhelmed by the feeling that the boy in the boat was not waving and laughing at the person snapping the photo as much as he was frantically trying to get the attention of the man I am today. The boy was beckoning me to join him on a voyage through the harrowing straits of memory. He was gambling that if we survived the passage, we might discover an ocean where the past would become the wind at our back rather than a driving gale to the nose of our boat. This book is the record of that voyage."

I just finished reading this book, and am sad that it is over…if you remember (which I am sure you do) I have reviewed a book by this author before (Chasing Francis)…And wrote a review reflecting how much I love it…while his first book was non-fiction…this book is more of a biography of his life through his own eyes…If you feel in love with Ian's writing in the first book, then I think you will equally love this story he tells here…

We get to watch Ian grow from a little lad in England to a man in the states…We see how his father’s alcoholism permeates the families life…We see how secrets can damage…and we find out some pretty COOL secrets that make you father was in the CIA…We meet his mother who is a lady with a lot of secrets…she is beautiful, and fun…Ian and his brother have a nanny that provides a few moments of laugh-out-loud laughter…

I enjoyed how Ian was able to weave together stories from his childhood, into stories of his manhood and then into stories of his own family.

I also very much enjoyed how he incorporated the Eucharist moment from the beginning of the book as in the ending…I think the way he wrapped up the book shows how talented a writer he is…

This book is FUNNY! I laughed out loud a few times…this book is real (I can absolutely believe it all happened)…I also cried a few times…I cried for the child who had to grow up with the secret of his father alcoholism…

If any part of the title

Jesus or

My Father or

The CIA or

and Me

catch your interest pick up this book and give it a read…you won’t be disappointed…

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

Until Later…

Random Thoughts…

2011-06-11T20:59:00.001-04:00

Well I’ve not written in a while and I am going to do a random thought post to get all caught up…these all probably could have been posts in and of themselves but that seems like too much…so, please enjoy the top 10

#1. Birthday…

I’m turning 30 soon, and I’m kind of upset about it…subconsciously it is messing me up…

I don’t know if it is a regret thing…looking back and thinking about what I THOUGHT I would have accomplished by 30 or what but I get emotional about it at the weirdest times…

#2. Laughing…

Please watch these videos…cause laughing is proven to be helpful…and the penguin is so GREAT!

The other day I had a bit of a laughing fit…something started me giggling and I COULD NOT STOP…then as I was trying to catch my breath I said “I can’t breath, I think the cancer is back” and that, while not a funny statement, made me start laughing all over again…it was FABULOUS! Everyone needs to laugh like that once in a while…

when is the last time you have had a good laugh?

#3. Oreos…

This is how I eat Oreos…I soak ‘em in a bowl…wait for them to get soggy…

and scoop them up with a big spoon…my favorite!

#4. Choices…

There are two things that I have made off limits to this blog…One, I would like to discuss but being respectful of some who read this I will not…and the other, is just controversial and I am afraid I would not be able to explain it or that someone would not understand so that one remains private…

recently, both required choices to be made… and both choices were hard…really, really, hard…

While I am confident the right choices were made…RIGHT doesn’t bring instant PEACE…

#5. Work…

is going well…I am gaining confidence as each session ends, and it feels good…I am pretty excited that I get paid to help others…my co-workers are super supportive and encouraging…we have ‘supervision’ every week where we all get together and go over our cases to get support, and ideas if we are stuck…it is a really positive and helpful couple hours…

I am also growing with this job…I am becoming a better person, a better listener, a better support…a better me…

#6. Weight…

yeah, I’ve gained some…not a lot, 5lbs, but I don’t like it!

for some reason the past couple of weeks all I’ve wanted to do is eat…I crave Wendy’s fries (unsalted) constantly, and I am just always hungry…I'm never really like this, I mean I don’t eat nutritiously but I’m never hungry like this…it is weird and I hope it stops soon…

#7. Port…

I’ve been approved…

to get my port removed…this will relieve me from having to go every 6 weeks to get it flushed and I won’t have to take Coumadin anymore so that cuts a medication…VERY EXCITING…the less cancer related things in my life the better…

the other week I went in to get my port flushed…I found myself pretty emotional in the days before and after my appointment…having to go to the Cancer Center and sit in the chairs where I received chemo is just too much…I’d be happy to never go back…just writing about it sucks so I’m gonna stop…

#8. Little Bit…

is sick…

and I think I am more upset about it than I care to admit…you can’t tell so much from this picture but she has a HUGE tumor hanging from her stomach (mammary area) and she has a few more that are not as large…she sleeps all the time, and sometimes her breathing can be concerning…I am hoping that along with putting some saving aside for travel with my mileage checks I can also get her to the vet and get them taken care of…I know it will require surgery, and I know we have waited too long to take care of it but the thought of her dying is NOT O.K. with me…I can’t imagine not having a dog, and I’d be great if she lived forever…I also have to keep in mind that she is not young…she is like 12…

#9. Chuck-E-Cheese

I got to go there for work this week…

We went there to celebrate my client’s son getting to come home for good last Friday…it was fun…

#10. Sad…

I’m sad…numbers 1 4 5 6 7 8 probably have to do with it…I need to process some things but don’t have a lot of safe people to process with…and those who are safe live far away which can suck when you need a hug, and some encouragement…

Thankfully I am far enough along in my journey living with depression that I am able to cope…I know things will get better…I am able to get up and go to work, and I am able to do well…but the days I don’t have to work…those days, I sleep a lot…as much as I want…I try to be motivated to do more, and a lot of days I do…I’m good at pushing myself…but I do not want to ignore that I am sad because if I do it will just get worse…like a stealth ninja, depression is a disease of silence and I face that disease by not being quiet…

Until Later…

Look in Your Drawers…

2011-06-04T19:19:00.000-04:00

I noticed there was a coupon for some foundation and mentioned that I will need some new foundation soon and need to start looking for deals…

A few minutes later I thought hmmmmmm…I should look in the drawer I so carefully labeled “FACE” in the bathroom cabinet just to be sure I didn’t already have some foundation…when I was going through chemo and radiation I almost NEVER wore make-up, so I had no reason to keep up to date on the contents of this specific drawer…

This is what I found…

FOUR new bottles of foundation…a new powder…and two new mascaras…I am sure that when I got these they were close to free I just can’t remember when…

I just went and checked and there were no expiration dates on the Cover Girl foundation but they look O.K…No worries I won’t use them if they look suspect…like this old Revlon bottle of foundation I found in the drawer…

yucky, icky, nastiness! it almost empty anyway…if you are looking for a good covering/long lasting foundation this Revlon Color Stay is the best I’ve found…I only used it on days when I was going to have LONG days…the Cover Girl in the above picture works just fine (it is maybe not AS good at covering blemishes, but I don’t get those much anymore) and is cheaper…

Remember to check what you got before you go and buy new…

Until Later…

If this is Gonna Work…

2011-06-01T00:02:00.001-04:00

I have decided that if this ‘work from home’ thing is going to work, I have to start making a list…

EVERY

SINGLE

DAY

and not just any list mind you…

A detailed, check it off when I finish, not just work related tasks list…I want to finish the day knowing I got some concrete things accomplished…

I think a little bit I am nervous about how to go about getting some of the things done I need to…my client would like me to help her get a car and an apartment…well, I don’t have a clue of what kind of resources there are available for that kind of assistance…I mean I know that is my job and I will find resources, but everyone has to start at the bottom and that is where I am…I know nothing!

let me share with you my list for tomorrow…

wake up

gather all magazines and put them in the garage

call the therapist of my client to get some reports

call about park and rec programs for my client

document everything in our on-line system

call medicaid to make sure everything is fixed

order medications

get a b-day card, a regular card, and a b-day package ready for a few different peoples

do my May mileage to turn in (money, money, money, MONEY!)

look into places that help with cars and income based housing

take a walk with the doggy!

do a realistic purge of my shoes (I’ve done this recently and while I don’t have A LOT of shoes, there are more that can GO!) do this same purge with my nail polish, and body sprays ect…

pluck my eyebrows, and do a self pedicure

It seems do-able, there is nothing that I can not accomplish in a day…and it may not even take all day (cause I can have some serious focus when need be)…I just like that I have it written out, I LOVE checking boxes off and knowing exactly what I did…

so the experiment begins…

Thursday I am going to court with my client, and her son is coming home for good after having been gone for 10 months…what a great day for mom and son…I’m so happy for them and am excited to start our more intensive work on Monday of next week…

Until Later…